We All Have Issues
by DementedViper
Summary: SLASH. CRACK!FIC. Random. Merlin is seeing a woman. Unknowingly Arthur is seeing the same woman. NOT WHAT YOU THINK MWHAHA


**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything of Merlin it all belongs to the BBC all I own is the twisted plot XD

**A/N:** AU That was inspired by a convo on the Merlin forums dont ask

**A/N2:** Hehe dont kill me?

**A/N3:** I'm not happy with it but oh well

**Warnings: **Slash! Don't like don't read. I think it is pure crack as well

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**We All Have Issues**

She watched as the lanky, slightly clumsy man sat down with an exasperated sigh. She raised an eyebrow as her green eyes asked the question of what he was doing there.

"He is just so...prattish!" he burst and she mentally rolled her eyes. Prince Arthur, again. Merlin huffed his hands clenching the battered sofa as he tried to rein his anger.

"What has happened this time?" she asked idly doodling on the parchment making it seem like she was taking notes.

"He was just so...arse-ish! I mean I understand I am his servant but I also thought I was at least a friend!" her eyebrow rose again _at least? Curious_ she thought holding back her smirk "But it is just Merlin change the sheets, no Merlin not them sheets the _other_ sheets. Merlin wash my clothes, no Merlin do it yourself. Merlin fetch me some food, no Merlin I did not ask for this! Merlin clean my sword, no Merlin I meant all of my weapons. It's just...AHH!"

"Really? And this makes you feel...?"

"used!" he pouted slightly his arms crossing "worthless and it's just so _infuriating_!" he sniffed and tucked his legs up "I do not mind the work, I do not even mind being a servant I just...want more respect. I work my arse off for him every day and he does not care! It hurts you know? And..." he shrugged

"So you want Arthur to respect you more?"

"Yes"

"Merlin, tell me about your father?"

"What?"

"What sort of relationship did you have with him?"

"I...My father disappeared before my mum knew she was pregnant"

"Hmm" she paused to doodle the ears on the cat she was drawing and then looked up at him "Why don't you tell Arthur how you feel?" Merlin laughed

"He is the prince I am not allowed an opinion nor a voice other then Yes Sire and May I Lick Your Boots Sire"

"Merlin you know that prince Arthur has more respect for you than that and would listen to your opinions"

"Listen, maybe. Consider them? Defiantly not" he pouted to himself and she sighed, why did she bother when she knew he would not even try to do what she suggested?

"Merlin I want you, tomorrow, to tell Arthur what you think of his demands when it becomes too much and too unfair in your eyes."

"But"

"If you do not do this I cannot help you and I might as well cancel all sessions."

"Ok" Merlin nodded taking a deep breath "Ok" he said again convincing himself.

"Good now can you leave? I have an appointment in 5 minutes. Or is there something else?"

"What...I mean...No, thank you for seeing me," he said as he left

"I didn't have much choice," she muttered staring after him. She sighed and rubbed her eyes then looked at her parchment and chuckled seeing a cat sitting on the back of a Dragon chasing after couple who looks suspiciously like the prince and Merlin. She loved her sub conscious.

...

_At least he knocked this time_, she thought as she watched the tall muscular man stride in and sit. She could guess what their topic would be today, Merlin. The blond raised an eyebrow at her and she raised one back her eyes challenging him, it was the same every time they met, he did not want to go first, but she would try to make him. Sometimes she succeeded and sometimes she gave in. She had a feeling this was one of the times that she would win. She tilted her head and almost smiled when he sighed.

"He's just so clumsy! He is hopeless! I mean we went hunting, again, and he stopped me from killing because it looked like it was a foul! It is hunting! And then when I asked him to bring me some lunch he brought completely the wrong meal!..." years of experience had taught her how to drift without her eyes glazing over. She let her eyes go to the parchment turning it over so she could start a new sketch nodding and humming in the right places to the Princes rant. She barely looked up when he started pacing waving his arms about.

"Arthur" her soft understanding 'I-am-here-for-you' tone made him stop and look at her. "Please sit?" he did and ran a hand through his head with a sigh, if Uther did not threaten her with secrecy should would have a lot of gossip. "Have you tried talking to him?"

"About what? He is a hopeless servant"

"He must have his good points...have you tried giving him a 'well done' every now and then? You know boost his morale?"

"He's a servant"

"He is also a human Arthur Pendragon," she snapped and he eyed her before nodding

"I will try"

"From what I have seen and been told he sees you as a friend as well and you do as well you just will not admit it. "

"What do you think I should do? I...care about him but I cannot get close because he is my servant and it just is not done"

"You are a Prince, Arthur; you may do whatever you like in the halls of the castle."

"What do you mean?"

"Arthur just go and give Merlin some praise and listen to him. See if things get better" he sighed but nodded and stood

"Thank you" as he left she looked down and raised an eyebrow. A grin spread over her face and she chuckled shaking her head seeing someone that looked suspiciously, again, like Merlin in a dress on Arthur's arm. Tilting her head, she added a veil to Merlin's head and grinned.

...

_Why did I choose this career?_ Soft pink lips parted as she sighed. Merlin sat in front of her his mouth opening and shutting as he tried to say something. His hand kept running through his hair and he was tucked up in a ball. His most insecure position that she had seen.

"Merlin, tell me what is wrong?"

"He..." he took a breath "We..." his eyes closed and he rubbed his face. The door flew open as Merlin looked up and spoke.

"He kissed me!" she chocked on the mouthful of water she had just taken as Merlin and Arthur spoke together. They shared a horrified look as she calmed herself.

"Merlin!"

"Arthur" he chocked

"Arthur have a seat" Arthur looked at Merlin but sat trying to stay as far from him as he could. "Now you shared a kiss?"

"Uh"

"Merlin kissed me!"

"I did no such thing! You kissed me!

"You kissed back!" sighing she settled for watching them get it all out towards each other and started another sketch. These two needed help beyond her capabilities.

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See told you it wasnt good but it took me ages (distractions! reading, forums, msn, shopping GAH!) so it was being posted anyway.


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